My holiday plans had been canceled and I had to quickly find a solution for my two-week holiday. Google is a person’s best friend when you need to find a new travel destination and you don’t even really know what you want. I knew that I wanted something far away, both mentally and physically. I wanted to have both peace of mind and space to reflect on my life here and now, my relationship with my partner, myself and my choices. Searching for “meditation retreat” I didn’t find anything reasonable: I wouldn’t have time to travel to Asia and it doesn’t make sense to travel there in the summer either. I love horses, maybe a horse riding camp for adult horse lovers? I had an idea to google the words: “horses” “meditation” and Voilà: I found a French woman who has a small herd of wonderful Friesian horses in the South of France and who runs “Connect with Horses Mindfulness Meditation” retreats. Yes, the Universe knows what I need! I sent Dr. Margaretha an email about my situation and she immediately replied that she could offer me a private room at her farm for five days.
I arrived at the farm near Nogaro through many twists and turns on a Sunday evening and woke up the next morning in my beautiful, peaceful room refreshed. After morning coffee, I started the exercises guided by Margaretha. The program of the days followed the same rhythm during the next three days. In the morning, I prepared myself for the day by waking up my body with a yoga exercise, exercising the five senses and mentally reflecting on the previous day according to the GLAD model: what I am grateful for (G = Gratitude), what I learned (L = Learned), what I achieved (A = Achieved) and what I was happy about (D) = Delighted). In the morning, I first did a walking meditation alone and then with the horse, after which it was the turn of the presence exercise with the horse. During the day there was plenty of free time to rest, take a walk around the vineyards, color mandalas or write, and follow the interesting activities of Margaretha’s three cats. At some point, Margaretha laid the brunch on the table. Before dinner, it was time for an Equine-guided Meditation.
I had many interesting conversations with Margaretha about humanity: how we have ended up where we are now, what prevents us from being content and happy, and how our spiritual journey would continue from now on. It was extremely interesting to listen to Margaretha’s own story and her descriptions of the enormous ability of certain horses to create a safe space for people to be authentically themselves, to address sadness and fear and show us great love and acceptance. The oldest of the horses, Belle, was already an exceptional horse when she came to Margaretha at the age of 5, and after receiving therapy horse training and matured, Belle has become like an old woman of knowledge: a sage, a healer and a kind of shaman. Belle is at the same time a daughter, mother and sister, her big heart and ability to channel feminine energy is immense.
I got to experience Belle’s healing abilities in the first mindfulness exercise I had with her. We had already gotten to know each other the night before in a way that felt intimate and gentle: Belle sniffed me from head to toe and then blew softly and approvingly on my face and neck. In the presence exercise, I was supposed to synchronize my own breathing with Belle’s breathing and see where it would lead, how it would feel. I stood next to Belle, stomach against her side and my hands softly on the front and back of her ribcage. Synchronizing my breathing with Belle’s was easy and felt good. Belle relaxed, she was completely still, and hung her head. I moved myself in front of her head and she blew gently into my palm and then rested her head on my shoulder. I felt the need to wrap my arms around its neck and embrace her. There, as I embraced Belle with my chest against her huge heart, I experienced something indescribably good and beautiful: a tidal wave of sincere, motherly love flooded into my every cell. I felt good, warm and safe. It was as if Belle had let that abandoned little girl, I once was, step forward, made room for her, and then held her in her arms and accepted her just as she was, without demanding anything. My tears flowed profusely into Belle’s mane even when I now return to that moment, a lump of emotion rises in my throat and tears come to my eyes. Now I have that experience: I am loved and supported, good as I am. I will cherish this feeling and carry it with me for the rest of my life.
The meditation exercises with the horses were really interesting and fulfilling. The horses were brought to a smaller paddock and given hay so that they would happily stand still when the practice would begin. I myself sat in front of them behind a rope and began to do the square breathing exercise (one round: inhale for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds). The rustling of the horses’ hay was calming, and the breathing exercise soon allowed my mind to settle into a meditative state. A horse is a very sensitive animal and when the human brain starts sending out theta waves in meditation, horses react to that and get very responsive. A horse is essentially a prey animal and it must be alert all the time for dangers by reacting mostly by fleeing, sometimes also by fighting, e.g. by kicking. A horse, for example, senses a rider’s tension, which is then transferred to the horse. When the horse senses the theta waves produced by humans, it relaxes and becomes curious.
After the horses had eaten their hay, they dispersed to eat grass. I myself entered the paddock and went to lean against a tree and continued to take deep, calm breaths. I silently called the horses to me in my mind and all three of them came to my feet to eat grass, although there was less grass there than elsewhere. They sniffed me and then let me be. I felt like I was one of the herd.I got proof of that, when the horses were scared of a tractor passing by and they did what is natural for them: they broke into a short gallop to escape. Soon, however, Belle placed herself between the younger horses and me as if for protection, and when the younger ones also understood that there was no immediate danger here, all three gathered in a semi-circle in front of me with their heads directed towards the supposed danger to protect me, the weakest and slowest member of the herd. This is how adult horses protect the foal when they are free in the wild. I was deeply moved by this experience.
Besides Belle, Aurora wanted to make contact with me. In contrast to Belle’s gentle and calm motherly energy, Aurore is full of frolicking, playful and unruly energy. She wanted to play with me, to show me that this life is not so serious after all. She blew, nuzzled and tickled me with her lips, blew in my face and gently poked me in the stomach. However, she was really careful, horseplay can sometimes be too violent for humans. I was really attracted to Aurore, she is the kind of horse I would want if I ever bought a horse. But I can’t understand how one can ride her, because she’s round like a barrel. However, Margaretha rides her regularly.
On Tuesday evening, Margaretha and I were joined by Karen, an American woman in her sixties who lives with her French husband in Versailles. Karen is a seeker, like me, and the three of us really had a lot in common – we formed a kind of spiritual circle of sisters. The power of femininity and female energy is a magically unifying factor and knows no nationality nor age boundaries. The meditation sequences with the horses and Karen were beautiful, it was so interesting to exchange experiences and feel how our energies were combined within us, Karen and me, and with the horses. When you open your eyes from meditation and you’re pretty “high” anyway, and then you notice that the horse’s big, bottomless brown eyes are staring at you, that experience is quite powerful and can’t be compared to anything else.
So I got to experience unconditional love at Margaretha’s place. When one is open to love, love comes without even searching for it. It was also funny that even though I do not specifically like cats, they also showed me acceptance and love. Especially the black and white Caspar squirmed in my lap the whole time. The biggest applause was when Caspar brought me a mouse he had caught in the meadow with a loud snort, ate half of it in front of me, and then left the rest for me 🙂
I am so grateful for everything I got to experience with Margaretha and the horses. I will certainly come back here some day!
Asanas and adventures 